Making foods portable has long been a focus of food engineers. Gogurt did it for Yogurt, the McLeash made it easier to drag all your favorite McDonald's foods along with you. And now, by turning the open-faced sandwich closed and upping the viscosity of its Hollandaise, Dunkin' Donuts has brought portability to Eggs Benedict.
Miles: The full name is Eggs Benedict Arnold, because this sandwich is a traitor to everything breakfast should stand for.
Peter: I'm happy Dunkin's is going more upscale. I'm looking forward to the sous vide Munchkins.
Ian: I'd just like to point out how disturbing this choice on the Dunkin' Donuts website is:
![](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/8da7d23/2147483647/strip/true/crop/722x139+0+0/resize/880x169!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.npr.org%2Fassets%2Fimg%2F2014%2F03%2F10%2Fscreen-shot-2014-03-10-at-11.28.03-am_custom-cfc088086126fcc0ffa73aaa25d1936e9d1456a2.png)
Ian: Carrier. It's infected with Eggs Benedict but is not yet showing symptoms.
Miles: Typhoid Benedict.
![It's Robert's birthday, so we melted down some candles and mixed them with the Hollandaise in his sandwich.](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/6e4408c/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1143x857+0+0/resize/880x660!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.npr.org%2Fassets%2Fimg%2F2014%2F03%2F10%2Fphoto-3-2-a99208721628a600d388f11f726c520c4731c82d.jpg)
Ian: I always get mixed up on the grammar. It's Eggs Benedict, like attorneys general, right?
Robert: Lives Threatening.
![Mikey doesn't like it.](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/098eece/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1203x902+0+0/resize/880x660!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.npr.org%2Fassets%2Fimg%2F2014%2F03%2F10%2Fphoto-5-2-7c3c2e099b627f69343600e97e31d4790b427c91.jpg)
Peter: Finally, a gourmet brunch the same diameter as your cup holder.
Robert: Yeah, it's great to be able to enjoy brunch on my drive in to work, but if I get pulled over, it might be hard to explain the mimosa.
Ian: OK, "brunch" is "breakfast" plus "lunch," so this is technically "brisgusting."
[The verdict: a split decision on this one. I liked it. Peter liked it. Robert started crying and we haven't seen Mike in an hour. I think the high-viscosity Hollandaise is a real marvel of engineering, and the proof is that I did not spill one drop on my pants.]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!
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