The catchphrase "it takes a village to raise a child" is taking on new meaning as parents in Wisconsin and across the country are more stressed than ever.
One in four Wisconsinites said they do not get the social and emotional support they need, according to a University of Wisconsin Milwaukee report. And mothers and single parents are more likely to experience feelings of loneliness.
Liz Sharda, associate professor of social work at Hope College of Liberal Arts in Michigan, said parenting stress represents a mismatch between demands and available resources, exacerbated by self-reliant nuclear family models.
"This expectation that we have to do it all, that we have to be everything for our children and for our family system," Sharda observed. "Those expectations are kind of operating in a context of a real decrease in social connection and increase in loneliness."
Sharda argued moving back to a society embracing collective care could help to ease the burden on parents, including building support networks before they’re urgently needed and shifting expectations about parenting to ensure both caregivers and children are getting the support they need.
Collective care is grounded in interdependence and belonging and involves seeing others' well-being as a shared responsibility rather than an individual burden. It can range from formal arrangements such as co-housing communities to informal neighbor relationships.
Although current disparities to access exist, Sharda explained how the approach has roots in marginalized communities who historically relied on each other to meet needs.
"This is how we parented for millennia… families raised their children not in isolated units but in clans," Sharda pointed out. "The adult-to-child ratio in those groups is way different than what we even consider a good ratio in like a child care center now."
Sharda added families with stronger connections to others demonstrate greater resilience in handling both daily stress and crises. She emphasized the value of having multiple people committed to a child's well-being, offering diverse strengths beyond what individual parents can provide. Sharda stressed the parenting epidemic needs macro level solutions.
"We also need like systemic and structural changes, too," Sharda contended. "We need support for policies that make connection possible. So it's not just an individual problem or a family level problem, but a kind of societal problem too."
